Stories From The Road

Reunited At Last

Publix Sweet Tea with some of their lemonade will be the death of me. I swear my dentist must love it when I get to the south because of all the sugar in that drinks. I swear he is probably signing papers for a new Lexus once he heard I was in the south. Last time I “smuggled” 3 gallons of Publix sweet tea back home to Seattle just so that I could continue my addiction. Now that I’m just walking distance from this vice, I’m in trouble.

I think Taylor Swift wrote that song “I Knew You Were Trouble” about southern sweet tea. Some cruel bastard yesterday must have thought it was funny to turn off the AC in the apartment gym so that when I worked out I looking like I was swimming in my clothes. I felt like a fat person getting all hot and heavy thinking about eating a delectable triple layer chocolate cake.

I need to get in shape for the sole fact that southern women are freaking drop dead stunning and I need to find me a southern bell. They are smoking, they know how to cook with love (aka butter) and the sweet southern accent is sexy. Well on that note I better get working on my music cause that’s the only way any of these girls will give me the time of day haha.

JC

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